"Music is Life."

"One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain." ~ Bob Marley

When was the last time you listened to music? And I don't mean in the car. I don't mean as you do homework or the dishes. I don't mean in the background. When was the last time you sat down and truly just listened to music? It's not easy, I guess. We lead very busy lives, who has time to sit and listen to music without multi-tasking?

We all do. We just need to take the time.

I'm writing this post because today I realized I'm guilty of keeping music in the background. You know who's not guilty of it? My daughter.

S is 20 months old, and a very curious, active toddler. She loves to explore the world around her, loves to climb on everything, and loves to read. She was doing exactly that today as I was working on my latest children's story. I had The Piano Guys on in the background. Their rendition of "Let It Go" from Disney's Frozen came on, and when I looked up, there sat S in the middle of the living room floor, swaying to the music.

To my knowledge, she has never before heard this song. But when it came on, she put her book down and concentrated on the music. There were no words, from the song nor from her. I sat mesmerized as she first started rocking left and right in time with the beat, then stood and twirled as the music picked up. When the song really hit its climax, she raised her arms and danced along, completely enveloped in a world where only she and the music existed. And when the song ended, she clapped and giggled, then went right back to reading her book.

I stared at her for a long time after that. I wondered, "What does she know that I don't?" It's not an easy answer, but perhaps it isn't about what she knows, but rather what she doesn't know.

S has the benefit of limited experience in this world. At 20 months old, she is still full of wonder and excitement. There are still so many things she is experiencing for the very first time, and new types of music is a wonder that will keep on being new for her for years to come. She knows nothing of homework, or the pressures of a commute, or the idea that pure, uninterrupted silence can be scary. She has not yet been jaded by the idea that music is background for life. For her, music fills her world and makes her feel, the way it should make us all feel. It's not just tones and sounds to her, it's more than that.

Ask anyone who has a passion for an instrument or for singing, and they will probably tell you that music - and the way it makes them feel - cannot fully be explained, it must be experienced. I think, as a society, we've lost our wonder for music (and other things, but that's for another post).

Try this little exercise, and maybe we can rediscover a passion for music together.

Step 1: Pick your playlist.
I'll make some suggestions, but by no means do you have to follow them. Pick music that is interesting, that is more than just noise. Pick music that reminds you of the past, gives you hope for the future, that pumps you up or mellows you out. Pick music that means something. If you're at a loss, here are some of the songs I listen to, and why I listen to them.

• Michael Kamen: "An American Symphony" (awesome blend of American-style rock and European-style classical music. If this doesn't give you goosebumps from its awesomeness, nothing will)
• BB King: "The Thrill is Gone" (oh, Blues. Is there anything with more soul?)
• The Piano Guys: "Let It Go" (It's about wonder. I've yet to see Frozen, but this makes me feel like I'm a kid again, playing in a winter wonderland among the pine trees)
• Shinedown: "Unity" (makes me think we could all do better. For some reason I attribute this song to the Avengers soundtrack, even though it wasn't included on that album)
• Neil Diamond: "Coming to America" (embodies the spirit of the nation. Patriotic and powerful)
• Foo Fighters: "Walk" (this is my 'bad day' song. I first experienced this song via music video, which is fun and helps me realize that my day probably isn't all that bad.)
• Ennio Morricone: "The Ecstacy of Gold" (I'm all over the place with this one. It can pump me up, calm me down, make me feel adventurous, or even conjure up ideas for stories. It doesn't disappoint)

Step 2: Turn everything else off.
And I mean everything. For the next few minutes, the goal is to just sit and listen. So forget the dishes and the bills, put away the homework, stop writing that report that's due at the end of the week. Take 10 minutes of your day and let yourself experience music.

Step 3: Press play.

Step 4: Let your mind wander.
Allow yourself to reminisce about the first time you heard this song, or whichever memories may come up. Try to be conscious of the emotions the music brings up. Let yourself feel them.

Step 4.5: Express yourself.
Some people like to sing along with their favorite songs. Do it! Singing releases endorphins, which will help you generally feel better about the day and help you deal with stress. If singing isn't your thing, try this: grab some paper and something to draw with (I suggest crayons). As you listen, draw whatever comes to mind. It doesn't matter if you're not a Rembrandt, you don't have to show anyone the drawing. The object is to explore where the music takes you.

Step 5: Deep breath, and continue.
Take as long as you're able for this little exercise. If you're like me, you maybe only get 5-10 minutes in the day to try something like this. If you find you have more time and want to continue, then by all means go for it!

Step 6: Understand the difference between "music" and a "music lifestyle." 
Simply put: BB King is about the music, Miley Cyrus is about the lifestyle. Ask yourself which you're really trying to experience.

Step 7: Repeat as needed.
Feel free to listen to any genre you like. Different types of music appeal to different people. I may not particularly like pop music, but it's got a good beat and you can dance to it.

Let me know how it goes. Leave a comment with playlists you're using, I'm always up for exploring new music!

“Music? Music is life! It’s physical emotion - you can touch it! It’s neon ecto-energy sucked out of spirits and switched into sound waves for your ears to swallow. Are you telling me, what, that it’s boring? You don’t have time for it?” ~Isaac Marion

How to Survive: Valentine's Day

Listen up, guys. From what I'm hearing, most of you are sucking it up BIG TIME on the whole Valentine's Day thing. The women in our collective lives deserve a lot better than the same roses as last year and a booth at the same old restaurant.

Let's break this down, shall we?

Step 1: Understand that 90% of women have seen and heard the same old thing on Valentine's Day, year in and year out. 
They want something new, something original. Do yourself a favor and put a little effort into the evening. You'll need to know a few basic details about your date. Is she the 'snuggle up on the couch for a movie' kind of girl or is she game for a little bit more adventure? Let's explore both options, starting with a romantic, at home date.

Step 2: Show her it's about her.
Turn off your phone. Put away the Playstation and get out the best dishes you own. Buy yourself a nice tablecloth and a good bottle of wine. And I mean it; turn off your phone.

Step 3: Forget the flowers and the chocolate.
You can plan and execute a Valentine's Day date that will blow her mind without breaking the bank. Every girl gets a dozen roses, so try one of these instead:

• a single red rose
• an origami rose
• silk flowers

Why these? Odds are good that your date/girlfriend/wife is a fan of rom-coms. What do all the douche-bag boyfriends in those stories have in common? When they inevitably screw up, they respond by showing up with a dozen (or more) roses. What does the classy guy she ends up with at the end show up at her door with? A single rose. Romantic, debonair, suave. The kind of guy that is going to sweep her off her feet.

An origami rose shows thought and effort. Origami is tricky, so follow the instructions closely. Trust me, she'll appreciate the trouble you went to. Need more help? Try this.

Silk flowers are a time saver and decently cost effective. Add to that the fact that they'll never shrivel and die on her, and she'll always have a reminder of the magical night you gave her.

Step 4: Try cooking instead of going out. 
Any schmuck can book a table, but takes a man of talent and persistence to have a romantic meal ready for his date. No good at cooking? Try one of these easy - moderate meals:

• Spaghetti Carbonara.  Savory. Sweet. Sexy. She'll love the Italian feel, you'll love that there's bacon.
• Bruschetta. Anyone can make bruschetta. Serve it on the side or on its own, either way she'll be impressed.
• French Toast. Breakfast for dinner? Edgy and fun. This promises to be a great alternative she'll never expect. Try one of these recipes, just look for your favorite ingredients!
• If all else fails, order in from her favorite restaurant and plate it like this:

Speaking of which, let's talk about the presentation, shall we?

Step 5: Set the mood.
Turn off the lights. Unplug the TV. Set a little music on low and light some candles. Even if you're only using tea lights (or battery operated LED candles), the atmosphere will be perfect. Down to the last minute and you still need to get some candles? Dollar stores have a decent selection at budget-friendly prices. Trust me, she'll be too busy enjoying herself to care where they came from.

Step 6: Enjoy dinner, and don't forget dessert

Step 7: Don't stop at dessert! 
If she's of a mind for a low-key, stay at home date, try these movies:

• The Princess Bride (1987). Smart, witty, romantic, and downright hilarious at times. You'll both enjoy this one.
• 50 First Dates (2004). One of the better Adam Sandler rom-coms. Drew Barrymore nails it, as usual.
• Casablanca (1942). Every woman loves this movie for the romance. Every guy should love this movie because Rick is a certified badass. The perfect blend for Valentine's Day.
• Tangled (2010). Disney has been cranking out some great animated movies lately. If you haven't seen Tangled yet, settle in for some fun
• Date Night (2010). If you and your date have been together awhile, this is the perfect movie to help spice up the night. Steve Carell and Tina Fey are fantastic.

If she's up for something more adventurous, consider skipping the traditional dinner and check out these options:

• Firing Range. I've yet to meet the girl that was not at least curious about how she'd do at a firing range. Whether it's handguns or compound bows, this is a thrill she's sure to remember. Check out local options for this, range fees are usually pretty reasonable and instructors are always on hand to help out.
• Rock Climbing. Indoor gyms are everywhere these days. You can rent equipment and get started in a matter of minutes. Make a few innocent challenges, such as whoever gets to the top first doesn't pay for drinks afterward.
• Dress Rehearsal. If there is a college or a community arts center near you, check the listings to see if there are any dress rehearsals coming up. Normally, theaters and performing arts centers will sell you tickets to the rehearsal at a huge discount. Just inquire at the ticket office to find the availability. Have some fun with it, get dressed up and pretend the theater was reserved just for you.

Step 8: Treat her like a queen.
No matter what date you choose, remember that you're trying to show her how much you care. Pull her chair out for her. Stand if she gets up to use the restroom. Offer her your arm as you stroll along the walk. Do everything you can to make her feel special, because she's worth every ounce of effort you have.

Good luck, have fun, and have a Happy Valentine's Day!